Blame It On The Jews

Yellow badge Star of David called "Judens...

This morning I was leafing through a magazine that was chronicling the fourteenth-century British outbreak of the great plague. Fully one-third of the population succumbed to this tragedy, and it is considered one of the most important, albeit tragic, episodes in the birth and growth of the British Empire. I have difficulty wrapping my head around the effects of such a death toll on a fledgling nation. At the time there were several theories postulated as to the reason for this horrible event. Apparently the Jews did it. If you don’t believe me just type in “jews blamed for…” in the Google search engine.

Apparently the Jew are responsible for most of the tragedies in our world, including both world wars, 9/11, and the Treaty of Versailles. I even read on You tube recently, while watching a documentary on the Holocaust, that the Jews are to blame for orchestrating this as well. Blaming the Jews for the Holocaust is beyond contemptible.

The Jews run the Illuminati, the Jews fund terrorism, they are trying to take over the world, they run Hollywood. I am fairly certain that they are responsible for the lady who was at the express line in Safeway with too many items earlier today. They probably stole the ring of Mordor too; and cause ice cream to melt in hot weather. The Jews undoubtedly invented AIDS and refused to fluoridate the water when I was a kid, giving me all those cavities. I am fairly certain that if I was of Jewish descent that I would be rather bitter.

Damn Jews, always melting my ice cream and providing quality daytime programming.

It is easy to use someone else to scapegoat my problems. It is convenient to believe that there is some sort of plot aimed at world domination, some evil power (Starbucks) bent on ruining my life. It is a terrible tragedy that one race of good people have been tortured, blamed and persecuted for apparently thousands of years. It is laughable that they are blamed for killing Jesus, who apparently was a Jew. At least it would be laughable if it hadn’t spurred on such hate. No one seems to be upset with the Romans for orchestrating the event and sanctioning the hit. Who can be mad at a culture that introduced us to olive oil and Parmigiano-Reggiano?

Damn Americans killed Lincoln.

I love blaming other people for my problems. Censuring others for my issues removes my responsibility and allows me to continue to live as a victim. Such an attitude excuses my failures and does not force me to confront my own inadequacies.

I am not seeking to demean those of us, and there have been many, who have been damaged by a parent, or a spouse, or an authority figure. Millions of people have been abused and I believe that if you read this blog with any regularity you will have to admit that I do not make light of such real pain. As I mentioned in a previous article, there is a significant difference, however, between being victimized and playing the victim. I have had to come to realize, often far too slowly, that no one else is responsible for my happiness. No one else is going to make me healthy. Sadly as well, no one else will be able to bring me real happiness or wholeness. Divorce courts are replete with persons who have tried to find completeness in someone else.

At the end of the day that is a lesson worth learning. It is up to me to build and maintain a life worth living. Looking to someone else to complete me never works in the long run. You do not need to be in a relationship to be whole. Sorry but it is true.

Unfortunately it is also true that it is up to each one of us to work through our pains and move forward. Blaming other people for my life may feel cathartic but it will not help me find happiness.

If you don’t like this article blame my parents. Or the government.

The Freemasons made me do it.

Don’t Let This Be All There Is!

My parents used to live in Germany and we were lucky enough to get to visit them on two occasions when they lived there.  One of the most profound experiences of my life was when we visited Dachau Concentration Camp near Munich. On the wall of the museum of the concentration camp at Dachau is a large and moving photograph of a mother and her little girl standing in line for the gas chamber. The child, who is walking in front of her mom, doesn’t know where she is going. the mother, who walks behind, does know, but is helpless to stop the tragedy. In her helplessness she performs the only act of love left to her. She places her hands over the child’s eyes so she will at least not see the horror to come. When people come into the museum, they do not whisk by the photo in a hurry. they pause. They almost feel the pain, I know I did. And deep inside of me I felt myself saying, “O God, don’t let this be all that there is.” Don’t let me live in a world that is without the supernatural, without miracles, without hope and a God and a future…

Lies We Tell Ourselves #2 – You Can Have It All

Cover“Decide what you want .. believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it’s possible for you Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have a frequency. As you think, those thoughts are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to its source. And that source is You”.The Secret

Seriously? Do you really believe that if you want something bad enough that the universe will realign itself to make that happen for you. Really?

Life is not a beer commercial, you can’t have it all. You can wish all you want but your cancer may not disappear. No amount of ‘visioning’ will bring your deadbeat dad back home. Reading the Secret over and over will never force your spouse to love you. It just isn’t reality. The reason philosophies like “The Secret” are so prevalent is because they sound great. Who doesn’t want their wildest dreams to come true?”

I remember growing up around Christians who believed that God will give us whatever we want if we had enough faith. While it sounded great in theory it did not wash in reality. I have met many people who have believed this ridiculous philosophy who have been left feeling insecure, guilt-ridden and insecure. Why didn’t God answer their prayers? Weren’t they spiritual enough? Maybe they didn’t try hard enough, or had some hidden sin in their life, or weren’t working the formula correctly. Whatever the reason it must have been their fault.

Every day we hear on commercials, in self-help books, in songs and movies that we can everything in life we ever dreamed of if we will have the right ‘go for it’ attitude. And it’s a lie. As I mentioned in an earlier post the world is not fair and there is no guarantee that you will be rich, happy, and famous. Sometimes good things do happen to bad people. Sometimes the best of us suffer the most. As Oscar Wilde said, “no good dead goes unpunished”.

It’s easy to look around and see others who seem to have it all. It can make us salivate, covet and dream. It is also easy to define our value and success by what we have or what we do. Culture has an obsession with performance, an obsession with success. As much as we hate to admit it we have tied our concept of success with material success and notoriety.

The Secret attempts to combine Christianity, quantum physics, and more in an effort to convince readers that our minds are some sort of universal force governed by frequencies and wavelengths and so on. This is bullshit of the highest order.  Where is the evidence? Where is the reality?

Everything that happens to us is a result of our thinking? Really. Six million Jews? Tsunami victims? What, they’re all collectively wishing the ocean would wash them away? If you can buy into a philosophy that says six million Jews were killed because on some level they willed it, The Secret may be for you.

Don’t get me wrong: the psychological ideas at the heart of The Secret are excellent. I firmly believe that there is true power in positive thinking. Believing in yourself is a great way to develop confidence. But The Secret promises too much; it goes too far in declaring that the Universe will grant all of your desires if you simply wish hard enough.

In the real world we cannot have it all and to believe this lie only bringing heartache, disappointment, and bitterness.

I love the second half of the Serenity Prayer where it says,
“Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life.

Reasonable happy. I like that. Real change doesn’t come from some flavour of the month book title it comes from within, from you. You have the ability to change your life today, talk to someone who can help.

I’m Not Responsible For Your Happiness

HappinessIn fact no one is. Not your partner, not your parent, not your priest. We are all responsible for ourselves. Blaming others for problems in life only leads to disappointment, shattered expectations, and bitterness.

No matter what has been done to you it’s up to you to do something about it. Yes I know that sucks, it’s unfair. In life we are taught and want to believe that life is fair, that everything happens for a reason. In counseling we call that a cognitive distortion. It’s a lie that distorts our way of thinking and keeps us from growing. Does everything happen for a reason? Ask the families of the six million Jews, countless Russians, intellectuals, gypsies, Poles, Czechs and others who perished in World War ll. It makes no sense but we are not supposed to question its veracity and just believe it. And let’s be honest, is life fair? How can anyone who has lived for very long believe this? Life isn’t fair. What happened to you is wrong but unfortunately you are the one who is going to have to live with this. The horrible truth is that life is only what we make it.

So it is with our problems. We want to believe that someone else can swoop down and heal those holes in our heart. Is this reasonable? Likely? As the unknown comic says, “You know who cares less about your problems than you do? Everybody.”

In counseling I see this manifest in many ways – the woman who needs man after man to heal the hole in her heart, the needy and dependent spouse, the person who blames others for their problems. Even the person who has been horribly abused must someday wake up and realize that if healing is going to come it will have to come from within. Blaming others may feel cathartic but does it really make a positive difference?

Some of us have been victimized. We are, in fact, victims. My heart goes out to you and I realize that you have been wounded deeply. But there is a difference between being a victim and playing a victim. You only have one life and deserve more than eighty years of misery. Working through these problems is hard but if you can get the right help, a counselor that doesn’t suck, you can find healing and hope again.