Blaming Women For Rape

This article in the news today, Indian Gang Rape Suspects Appear in Court quotes a popular guru who is apparently casting blame on the victim…. again:

“The gang rape in Delhi has triggered massive outrage and put the spotlight on rape and sexual assault in India as well as calls for a change in attitudes which often blame rape victims for the crime. On Monday, there was furor over comments by a Hindu spiritual leader, Asaram Bapu, who suggested that the Delhi rape victim was also responsible for the crime as she boarded a bus in which there were no women. He said she should have called those who assaulted her brothers and pleaded for mercy.”

As a counselor I often run into women who have been raped or accosted and then blamed for the incident. Apparently because they were allegedly wearing provocative clothing, or acting nice, it is their fault for being violated on a level I cannot even understand. Such a belief is still held by many, and is contemptible and disgusting. If this were the case than every woman at a beach wearing a bathing suit deserves to be raped. After all, they seemed to be inviting it…

As a male I am frustrated by the apparent logic here that states that if a woman looks attractive than I am no longer responsible for my actions. What kind of ridiculous belief system alleges that I am such an animal, such a slave to my emotions and sexuality that I cannot be held responsible for my actions in the presence of someone I find attractive?

15 thoughts on “Blaming Women For Rape

  1. Short sweet, and to the point. I love this. And it is so true. Blaming the victim is horrible, and the media engages this thinking.
    Thanks for writing. I wrote a blog about the media and suicide that has a similar perspective. I’d love for you to check it out. https://ressurrection.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/committing-suicide-how-media-attention-makes-people-pull-the-trigger/

    You really have a great blog Scott. Thanks for writing.

    Ressurrection
    @AJourneyToLove
    http://www.facebook.com/ressurrectiongraves
    http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com

  2. Thank you for your post but lets not forget that rape isn’t about finding someone attractive and choosing not to control those desirous impulses. Rape is about power and control. What those young men did to that girl had nothing to do with sex or sexuality.

  3. there was a huge peaceful protests held for that girl in delhi…….many supported her…..almost whole of the delhi came together for her support…..but she died in her fight for life….the poor girl who was in the bus was raped and a hot rod was passed through her vagina……she died in the hospital…..she told her mother……i want to live in the hospital……she was strong……she wanted justice !
    how can someone plead to such animal for mercy……thats the most stupid reaction to such a situation……that baba is completely meantal……i think every girl in this world should know some skills for self protection……so that we can protect ourselves……so that no one gets a chance to blame us for being victimised……so that men think 100 times before even thinking of doing such a thing !

  4. Goodness, blaming a woman for an attack is like blaming a rabbit for getting eaten by a wolf.

    When are people going to recognize that humans are only slightly above poo flinging monkeys! The stupid and unnatural position that humans are somehow “higher than the animals” (almost always religious) is blinding them to the true place humans have, biological creatures, an adaptable mammal, an animal among other animals.

    Rape happens in the animal world, rape among apes, chimps, monkeys, even the dolphin, that is not conjecture that is observed and documented fact.

    I will say that I have no mercy for the predator, while I may expect predatory behavior from an animal it is not an excuse, it may well be natural but it is not an excuse. In the west when a farmer kills a coyote for killing livestock they hang the dead on the closest barbed wire fence – the other predators get the message! I have so little respect for predators because I recognize that potential in myself, I am a large aggressive male, and I do what is expected of a positive member of the community with politeness, self-control, and cognitive reasoning. Violence of a predatory nature is a problem typically with low-value personality type males, promoting strong male behavior discourages predatory behavior.

    Predators who do not control themselves deserve no mercy, that is not a religious or superior position it is simply a position of recognized social and biological necessity. It is about time that humans give up the stupidity of primitive thoughts and religions and take a stand to actively attempt to improve our species, this will require a bit of culling, in fact a great winnowing.

  5. Hi Scott,
    It may sound weird, but I see women as having the most powerful position to rebalance their objectification…….men as well intentioned as we might be just are not going to get it done.
    RidicuRyder

  6. Worse, he’s essentially claiming religion is a cure-all. If she’d said a few Saraswati mantras, she never would have gotten in the bus at all. So is that why there’s disease, war, crime, and death? We haven’t said enough or the right mantras? It’s a disgrace. He should be considered a lunatic, not a guru.

  7. I’ve been blamed by quite a few for the assault I went through. Yes rape. And it wasn’t for the help of my counselor, I might still be thinking that it was my fault, I still do but not as often.

  8. >> What kind of ridiculous belief system alleges that I am such an animal, such a slave to my emotions and sexuality that I cannot be held responsible for my actions in the presence of someone I find attractive? >>

    It the system one that leaves a person able to continue believing that they are good. And from a victim’s perspective, it is the system where the world makes sense and we maintain the illusion of control. All I need to do to stay safe is to not ride the bus.

    Ugh. I feel such sadness and loss that this brave young woman was so brutally murdered.

  9. This line of thinking goes back to the first century in Christian thinking in which women were seen as agents of evil. Check out the Psudeo Clemintines, it’s all there. This also has to do with the influence of the Greco-Roman culture on the early Christian Church,in which women were seen as merely incubators. It was not until the 1800’s with the discovery of ovaries and eggs that women were given any credit for contributing for reproduction. What you write about is a Patriarchal idea which alleviates men from the culpability of their actions and puts all responsibility on the shortcomings of women. You would think that by now this kind of thinking would be a thing of the past. Sadly, it is not.

    ivonne

  10. How in the world anyone could be blamed for the obvious responsibility for anothers actions such as rape is always beyond me.
    I’ve worked with homeless people in several different states in the US where in that environment, rape occurs often. I had one woman friend that couldn’t even grasp that the rapes she endured weren’t atrocious and wrong. To her they were a common part of her life, such as sleeping, or finding a meal. She would almost excuse it by the fact she was in the wrong place at the wrong time or she knew better, things like that. I was younger and so appalled that this was a mentality that was developed….in anyone.
    Something that continually needs to be brought to attention

  11. Or a whole gang of men… Please, do not even get me started about this case, or maybe that would be good. We keep our mouths closed too often to rape, child sexual assault, and domestic violence and on it goes… One it just keeps going. I am not keeping my mouth closed anymore. Thank you, Scott!

  12. So true. We are not animals. Women want to feel loved and be attractive. When I hear about a woman who makes poor choices in clothing and behavior, poor results are most likely to be had. Thank you for this post, I had not hear about it.

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