Making Peace With Me

I remember, as a young child, being told, “quit bragging!”. Adults told me, told you, not to brag, because bragging about yourself was very, very, wrong. Be humble, I was taught. People who talk about themselves are egomaniacs. We tell our kids they are amazing, but don’t really want it to go to their head.
Psychology is cool. If you take the time to learn about people you begin to understand that it’s possible to like yourself without turning into a jerk. The science on this is fairly straightforward, insecure people brag too much. People who have made peace with themselves and have a decent self-image tend to be humble, and for one very obvious reason: the more you learn about life, the more you understand how much you still do not know. Most of us struggle with crippling self-esteem issues and if we do not deal with this lack of self-confidence, this stuff isn’t going away. As your Mental Wellness Team we would like to remind you that you are pretty darn amazing and there is plenty to like, if you allow yourself.
Liking yourself does not automatically make you arrogant or insecure. People who accept who they are do not need the approval of others, and are usually not fixated on jumping through hoops to be loved. Self-confidence is a very good thing, when it comes out of a healthy state of mind and body. Appreciating your skills and personality, even loving yourself, is a very good thing. It’s time for someone to say it – it’s important to like who you are.
It’s time to make peace with you. Many of us are keenly aware that we will probably never be perfect; the challenge is to be good with that.
Here’s another little gem from psychology – The opposite of poor self-esteem is not good self-esteem; the opposite of poor self-esteem is self-acceptance. Learning to like and appreciate who you are is perhaps the meaning of life, or at least the beginning of wisdom. What an amazing family this would be if we could learn to like ourselves, in spite of our long list of failures or shortcomings. Healthy people realize that it is important to also have a list of their pure awesomeness.
There is no magic formula for good self-esteem. There is no way you can suddenly think you are amazing when you have spent a lifetime loathing who you are. Healing begins by putting away the microscope and the unrealistic expectations. You don’t need to pretend you are something you can never be. You can stop looking at the blemishes and begin to focus on your potential. Making peace with your shortcomings has nothing to do with thinking you are beautiful or perfect or brilliant, and everything to do with putting down your weapons of self-destruction and refusing to fixate on what is missing. Like many things on this journey called life, this is about changing how you think, not how you look.
So go ahead, crow!
*thanks to Marie Pudlas for her photo

 

11 thoughts on “Making Peace With Me

  1. SYHTCB,

    Happy Easter! I’ve sorta accepted the self-loathing thing as part of my trim package…not so snazzy, but the handling & agility doesn’t seem to suffer much. :)

    RR

  2. Loved this! I am on a journey of making peace with “me”… In fact I’m in my 41st year of life and still I’m learning… Learning to put the horrid past behind me of my lost sense of self… The identity of youth taken and healing from my broken past… But you know something?! The more it is talked about and shared… The less inflicting it becomes and I am emerging as “me”! Thanks heaps for the post

  3. I really like this post. I have not reached full self-acceptance yet but at least I am content enough with who I am and what I look like that I do not spend my entire life fantasising about being a different, incredibly beautiful, fantastically talented and adored individual as I did when I was younger. After a lifetime of being told by my father that me and my legs were too short and my head was too big, which led me to extreme self-hatred, I am now happy with my height, my legs and my head! This sounds small but is actually a breakthrough. I am not sure I love myself yet but I respect myself as I have overcome huge difficulties and attained real happiness for the first time in my life.

  4. Reblogged this on Bipolar1Blog and commented:
    “Making peace with your shortcomings has nothing to do with thinking you are beautiful or perfect or brilliant, and everything to do with putting down your weapons of self-destruction and refusing to fixate on what is missing. Like many things on this journey called life, this is about changing how you think, not how you look.
    So go ahead, crow!”
    Brilliant blogpost! Thank you! I intend to take your advice!

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