The End Of All Our Exploring

Finding you can have a life after all is an amazing thing…

I wrote those words to a close friend this week. I know this is true because I have lived it. I have been to the end and I have been back. I know what it is like to care less if your world burns. I know what it feels like when your heart breaks. I know why people kill themselves.

It must be true that we attract what we are because many of my readers (although many seems a little off) can relate to the last paragraph. So many of us have been scarred. Many have known the “dark night of the soul”. Unfortunately many of us have learned that there are certain lessons you can only learn in pain.

I remember, some time ago, listening to a young speaker talk to battle-hardened veterans of life’s misery. People who had battled addictions, death, heart-break, staggering loss. He told the audience a story of his struggles – pitiful middle-class problems that were trifling and testimony to a life that had never suffered. It’s the reason people don’t like marital advice from a priest, or sexual advice from a Methodist, or advice about generosity from a Scotsman. There is something powerful about listening to the stories of others who can understand your loss. If you don’t believe me come to the Fibromyalgia Clinic sometime and listen to a new client once they understand that someone understands them and no one thinks they’re crazy. The power of a shared experience, no matter how bad.

It’s nice to know that even though you are walking through hell you aren’t walking alone.

7 thoughts on “The End Of All Our Exploring

  1. Yes. Yes. And yes. Great truth here.
    I believe pain doesn’t kill us; isolation does. I remember when I first chose to stop numbing and all my childhood traumas came rushing to the surface all at once. The terror was too much and I almost killed myself.

    It was reading stories of others who’d walked exactly where I was standing and were living a fully recovered and wonderful life that spoke to my heart. Therapy has been a big part of my 7 years in recovery, but no one can pull you out of the pit like someone who’s been there. Not a family member, counselor, or friend.

    Thank you for sharing so truthfully. Your honesty and vulnerability speaks hope.

  2. So true Scott. The primary reason that I desire to go into a ministry to help homeless alcoholics is because I have been one for so many years and can empathize with their pain and problems. No matter how educated a person may be it is very difficult to truly understand a person’s problems unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.

  3. Scott, very true! As with my site, people arrive there, they enjoy the articles and appreciate the knowledge they attain but what keeps them coming back is the bond they form with the others who have experienced the same thing. After months or years of being told they are weak, or/and crazy they find people whp have been exactly where they are and understand. It doesn’t matter how empathetic a person is, they can care, they can even sleep under the viaduct for a night but as long as you know that warm bed is at home waiting for you there is no way you can know what being homeless feels like.

  4. Absolutely spot on, Scott. I do love what you say. So clear, so honest and authentic.

    So much pain, loss, and trauma in my life. And now add physical illness/pain on top of it. Life is not easy, that’s for sure. Sometimes what helps me the most is the smallest kindness from someone, a bit of compassion, or an acknowledgement that someone understands………yes, it helps to know that I am not the only one and that I am not alone. Thank you for writing and for your authenticity.

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