A true story given to me by a friend of a friend of a guy I used to know. It’s been sitting in my Inbox for some time now and I couldn’t find any good reason not to share it with you. It’s about living with a very nice Passive-Aggressive…
I used to live with Jesus, or so I thought. She was different from the people you would probably know – after all, most people don’t ever get a chance to even meet the Messiah, much less live with her. But I did.
People usually act differently in public than they do when no one is there to see what they are doing. Not Jesus. It was scary how consistent, how absolutely unflappable she was. Life is an exercise in guilt when you are married to the Holy of Holies. How do you get mad at someone who is always the same? How can you fight with someone you sometimes believe is always right? When you are married to the King of Kings it’s always your fault. Feel unloved? It’s your problem. Frustrated by her lack of empathy or the fact that she never panders to your emotional needs? Get over it, this is Jesus we’re talking about.
Living with Jesus is hard on your sense of self-esteem. After all you are clearly not worthy. People often remark, “I know why you married her but why did she marry you?” You are in love. You worship Jesus. You have a very twisted marriage.
But she wasn’t really Jesus. It wasn’t until much much later that you realized she was actually very repressed, very emotionally unavailable, distant. She was a textbook illustration of Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder. There was a whole world of anger and pain all closely hidden from the world, hidden even from you. You literally had no idea she was even remotely unhappy. That person whom you thought was perfectly happy and reasonable was in fact a deeply wounded and angry little girl who clearly had issues with self-awareness and vulnerability. There was even what some would call a passive-aggressive arrogance – quietly confident that in every situation she was always right.
The lack of emotional vulnerability contributed to my growing sense of neediness and romantic starvation. Jesus was apparently above feeling horny or expressing romantic intention. She also did not like to throw around phrases like “I love you”. She was an island and she expected everyone else to be likewise. Years later her best friend would confess, “I really never knew her. I don’t think anyone really did”.
No she wasn’t Jesus. In fairness she never asked to be put on a pedestal. I think. I was looking for a soul mate and she was looking for a business partner.
After almost two decades of being a burden she cut me loose to go “find herself”.
She said she couldn’t stay with someone who was needy.
It has been a while now and time has given me the insight that all those years of marriage could not. It turns out I was a pretty decent husband after all. Spending every day trying to impress the Christ will do that to a person. Apparently she was not perfect, though I would never have believed it.
No one is disappointed in me today. I haven’t failed yet today.
It’s going to be a good day.
5 thoughts on “Married To Jesus”
Im sorry this relationship did not make it, but what I noticed was how we was comparing his wife to what he thought Jesus would be like. If is wife was Jesus, the love she felt for him would be expressed all the time and perhaps would of worked!
Lol, I think this does a disservice to Jesus, who actually seemed like a pretty nice guy. I don’t think I would mind dating him. There would always be bread and fish in the house, anyway. Oh, and really good wine. 🙂
I agree with you Jennifer, I don’t think Jesus would be emotionally unavailable, or unkind. But I do understand this kind of marriage, and I understand why it takes two decades to work it out. You are lead to believe the whole time that you are the lucky one. It’s not until you remove yourself from the up closeness of it that you can see it for what it is.
I had wanted to hit the ‘like’ button… but for some reason your page isn’t loading properly for me… so there is no like button (it just says Loading…) – It’s funny I can relate to this post… I see me and my ex husband… there appears to be some cross over as to who is who in my version of the story… I think I became the passive aggressive in the end of our marriage as a defense mechanism after years of enduring passive aggressive behaviour… my ex mother-in-law believes that her son is bi-polar, but after much reading and researching I actually believe he has borderline personality disorder, however as he will not go to a doctor one will likely never know for sure… I am just thankful that since our separation he seems to be doing a lot better (I am not behind closed doors though so I cannot say for sure) but I believe we bring the worst out in one another, rather than building one another up, we tend to knock each other down…